What’s The Difference Between Enabling and Supporting
What’s the difference between helping and enabling? Have you ever helped someone through a challenging time in their life? I have and I’ve had many people help me and it’s such a great feeling to know that someone cares. Sometimes though, we do more harm then good if we’re always doing for them instead of assisting them in empowering themselves.
I get it, it’s not easy to see those we love struggle or in pain and our natural instinct is to want to help. Sometimes just being there is really the best way to give support, holding a space of LOVE for them and allowing them to learn what they need to learn.
The more we “save” someone by doing for them what they CAN do for themselves (if they really can) we send an unconscious message that they’re incapable of taking care of themselves and that they “need us.” Perhaps some people try to “save others” because they have a need to be needed. There’s so many reasons why we do what we do that we’re not consciously aware of.
Here’s an example; say you want to lose weight or build your muscles. You have a trainer to support you, but you have to lift the weights and exercise if ya wanna get results. It’s the same with our life situations, the way we learn is through building our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual muscles, not having someone do for us, that just weakens us. Not only does it weaken us, we never find the strength from within and we’re dependent on others to help us. But what happens when the person isn’t there?
I have a friend, he means well, but he’s always looking for people to help, bless his BIG loving and caring heart. He also has a lot of people eventually resent and turn on him. Why is this if he’s such a loving and caring man. The why is that the people who turn on him turn on him because subconsciously they know it’s not what they really want and they get mad if he’s not there “all” the time to “help” them. He see’s them as weak and no one is weak, we all have the means to take care of ourselves (if we’re not disabled or really sick) perhaps we just haven’t learned how to do this yet, but we’re capable.
Being a healer, I’m aware of this dynamic and I do my best not to enable, but to empower my clients to make their own choices and to take inspired action. I support them by holding a space of LOVE and assist them in listening to their own inner wisdom. Hey, we all F….up, it’s part of the journey of learning and growing. Most often we don’t want to take responsibility, so instead we put the responsibility on someone else so if it goes “wrong” we can blame them. Part of becoming a mature adult is learning to drive our own car so to speak. We can get support, and I highly recommend doing so, but do it in a way that says “I’m going to build my own muscles today, I wanna BE free and live as an empowered BEing.”
This is the same with healing from an illness, symptom, addiction etc. If we take away the catalyst without getting the lesson, it often comes back in one way or another. Everything we go through is serving us, it’s important to listen to the messages of our symptoms before we “remove” them, once we do, they most often naturally go away.
You CAN BE FREE and see yourself in the way the universe see’s you. YOU are a powerful, beautiful and loving BEing. Hey, we’re all in this together, it’s fun to support from our sisters and brothers, just be aware if you’re supporting or enabling, it is a fine line to see, but remember, everyone IS a powerful BEing. See them and yourself in this way and let’s rise together in this earthly play.
Awakening To Unconditional Love:
I AM LOVED SHIRTS